Quiet connections that last

At least once a year, it happens to almost every introvert: a networking event is coming up. And it doesn’t even have to be work-related. From the conference organised by your partner company to your former fellow student’s birthday party, where you know absolutely no one apart from the host, any forced social interaction can be a real challenge for introverts or neurodivergent people. Because whilst more and more small groups of people form in the room – who all seem to have known each other for years – many an introvert is mentally calculating when they can leave without appearing rude.

If this situation sounds familiar to you, you’re in good company. In her book *Quiet*, the author Susan Cain estimates that between a third and half of all people are introverts.  

This has little to do with shyness. Introverts recharge their batteries in quiet moments, whilst large groups and loud small talk drain them. People still like them, just more in pairs than in groups of twelve.

Why quiet networkers often have the better contacts

Introverts are (usually) good listeners. They ask a second question (out of genuine interest) whilst others are still talking about themselves. They make a note of the fact that the person they’re speaking to is launching a project in Graz in the spring, and three months later they follow up to ask how it went. It is precisely these kinds of moments that lead to lasting connections. 

This ties in with a finding from sociology. As early as 1973, Mark Granovetter described the ‘strength of weak ties’: new career opportunities often come via acquaintances and less frequently via close friends. A study using data from around 20 million LinkedIn members, published in 2022 in the journal *Science*, tested this principle on a large scale. The most helpful connections for changing jobs were moderately weak ones – that is, people with whom you share a few genuine points of contact. You don’t need 50 business cards a night to build a network like this. Three good conversations and proper follow-up will take you further. 

Preparation takes the fear out of the event

Extroverts enjoy spontaneity. For introverts, it usually causes stress. The trick is to leave as little as possible to chance. 

If you’re an introvert, the following tips might help you at networking events: 

• Have a look at the list of speakers or participants beforehand and pick out two people who really interest you. For each person, think of a specific question – perhaps about their talk or a post they’ve shared.

• Turn up early. During the first half-hour, the room is quieter and many people are still standing around on their own. Starting a conversation then feels less like you’re barging into a group of strangers.

• Make sure to schedule your breaks. Ten minutes on the terrace is a chance to recharge your social battery – something you can treat yourself to without feeling guilty.

• Have a friendly way to wrap up the conversation ready, for example: “I don’t want to keep you any longer – let’s swap contact details.”

• Set yourself a realistic goal. If, after two hours, you’ve had proper conversations with two people, the evening has been a success. 

The right setting makes it easier for introverts to have a conversation

Where people meet plays a part in determining how well a conversation goes. In a bar with loud music, the substance of a conversation is quickly lost. At a quiet table in a lounge, small talk turns into a meaningful conversation after five minutes, and that’s where introverts feel most at ease. 

It’s therefore worth specifically looking for smaller-scale events: a breakfast with ten people, a specialist talk with a Q&A session, or a lunch with the team from the neighbouring office. At myhive Offices, many companies work under one roof, and the community events and lounges facilitate precisely this sort of interaction. The first meeting takes place over a coffee in the kitchen, without any name badges. Anyone who then needs some peace and quiet can retreat to one of the focused workspaces, which are located in the co-working areas right next to the open-plan zones. 

Here’s another tip for more experienced participants: become a host yourself. If you invite people to a small themed breakfast in your own office, you set the tone and control the volume. What’s more, as the host, you automatically have a reason to speak to each person. 

Networks should be allowed to grow gradually

When it comes to networking, it’s not the person who ends up with the most contacts who wins. A conversation that both parties still remember six months later is worth more than a pile of business cards in your jacket pocket.

Our final advice: look for places where you can hear the other person clearly, and use platforms such as LinkedIn to continue these conversations.